found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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