I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
