I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
