normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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