Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I have post one night stand depression
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
