does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
