you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
that's an acceptable place to lick
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
