If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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