I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
