Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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