do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
