we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
