U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
