After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
