oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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