my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize