just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
