im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
