walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
