i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
