i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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