If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
