In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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