I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize