god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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