Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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