maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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