Your tits are I can't wait for
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize