Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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