Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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