haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize