he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
