I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
honey bunches of taint.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize