You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
