i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
