I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize