Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
