dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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