I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
