youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
