a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
