i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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