I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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