If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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