broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize