on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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