TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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