so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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