One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
