My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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