be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
