Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
