Me too!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
