SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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