I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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