the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
