I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
