Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
