Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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