I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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