Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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