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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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