This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
His nipple licking is glorious
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
