well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
