i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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