I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
