Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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