I'm really into asian looking animals
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
