OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
not ubering you a puppy
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I yelled at your uterus for you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize