HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
