I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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