You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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