I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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