what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
