ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
