The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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