I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize