It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
