wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You were trust falling into bushes
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize